You simply couldn’t make up your mind on what to choose next, so you choose both options. That’ll fix his wagon you think, regarding your crazy host. You turn to check to see if the raccoon has left and indeed he has, but in his place is a little polar bear who’s about to steal some Harry & David pears. You’re certain you’ve seen stranger things happen, but nothing is coming to mind. As if that’s not weird enough, at your feet you notice a Playbill with Dirty Dancing on the cover just as the voice returns…
“Hey there! So you really couldn’t decide this time, eh? Well this is awkward. Now in order to sink your teeth into those pears, you’ll have to wrestle with a baby polar bear first. I’ll leave you to figure out how to work around that, but I have to say that the pears are quite delicious.
“When Philippe and I were in Trader Joe’s last week, I saw that they had Harry & David pears. I used to love these at this time of year, but the store we had here closed and I don’t like the lack of immediate gratification that comes with ordering fruit online. He balked at the price which was more than twice as much as a full bag and had only five pears. I insisted they were worth it, but after trying them, he only resigned to say they were ‘better, but not that much better to justify the cost.’ They were totally worth it! You try them and tell me! If you can get around that little bear, of course.
“Last night was the first show in our Broadway Across America season tickets. We like getting season tickets because we end up seeing shows we’d never go see otherwise. This show was no exception as it was Dirty Dancing… yep… the movie… only live. Or, as the program proclaimed, the “Classic Story On Stage” This was a little much, considering the “story” of the movie is nonexistent and perfectly stupid. As I overheard the woman behind me say as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “Ugh! Stop with the dialogue. Just give us the music and the dancing!”
“Dirty Dancing provided the soundtrack of my high school years, with ridiculously fun music, but the movie was not cinema storytelling at its finest. We didn’t take it seriously back then and it was more of a beloved joke we liked to tell, like Valentine’s Day. We didn’t watch if for the story. It was all about the music and dancing.
“This stage show was bizarre in that they worked hard to cast people who looked like the stars of the movie. The actor playing the male lead sort of looked and sounded exactly like Patrick Swayze and the girl playing “baby” the female lead was touted as a “newcomer” because she was obviously only cast for her frizzy hair and large nose (Jennifer Grey was the original girl and spent lots of money to get rid of this iconic nose and render herself waxy looking and unrecognizable).
“With a mix of video backdrops and a limited set they faithfully attempted to recreate all of the movie’s iconic scenes. Occasionally one of the chorus people would break into song and sing a piece from the film’s soundtrack. In a word, it was bizarre. Interestingly, Philippe had never seen the movie so he was left to decipher the “classic story” without the benefit of the original. His verdict was that it was sort of interesting and he liked the leggy blond girl because she looked like an improved version of Lady Gaga.
“But like the movie, the stage show sort of kept you watching and wondering what might happen next, all without the extra bother of being remotely invested in any of the characters. For those who don’t know the story, it’s about a rich, homely girl who tries learning to dance, falls for her dance instructor from the wrong side of the tracks, all while helping another dance instructor through her botched abortion. No seriously, that’s the entire plot, set in the 1960’s with a definitively 1980’s soundtrack. Sorry, should have prefaced that one with a spoiler alert warning.
“Though I wouldn’t say we had the time of our lives, it was certainly something interesting to do for the evening. Not something I’d probably see again, but if you liked the movie, have absolutely nothing else to do with your evening, and are given tickets, then I highly recommend it.”
Suddenly, the voice stops and everything goes dark like at the end of a show. You wonder what’s next? But then again, you know, as ever, the choice is up to you…