For our prompt of “Feathers” today, I realized I’d never really attempted to sketch the exotic plumage of a peacock. I’ve sketched the head of a peacock, and even one in flight, but never the full showy presentation. Indeed, this version is far more complex, so I simply avoided it. I think that’s something that happens quite often to me. I’ll think of something I’d love to sketch, but then think it’s a bit too difficult and opt for something a bit easier instead. In truth, regardless of the seeming complexity, it’s all just my same scribble, doodle, color, approach so other than a bit more ink, it’s really not that tough at all. And it was quite fun to see a peacock appear out of all of those scribbles. I’m always telling others to share whatever they make and be proud, and so, today I’m proud for jumping outside of my comfort zone. While it’s good to focus on what you know, there’s sometimes lots more to learn from what you don’t know. It’s a good reminder to myself to keep pushing myself to try new things and then yes, happily share whatever happens from that adventure with all of you!
This afternoon, Philippe and I went to see a musical with friends and had a wonderful time. Each time I see a show, it reminds me of my previous life when I once performed onstage as well. I had performed in every show in high school and then went on to perform professionally while I was in college. I loved musical theatre and worked hard at my craft, but always felt that I wasn’t quite as good as the other performers I’d see. I was amazed at their skill and ability and felt like my own skill was good, but nothing exceptional. Ironically, musical theatre helped pay my way through college, but I started as an English major. I wanted to write books, but as I went through my first year of writing classes, I began to doubt my ability to write like an author. I then moved to the communications department and began working on films and videos. It was fun, but again, I didn’t feel that my talent was particularly amazing. After changing my major twice, I made the decision to take a drawing class. By my third year of college, I was suddenly in the Art department and started doing, of all things, 3D computer graphics and animation as my focus.
This, I decided would be my “thing” when I left college and attempted to start my own animation business. But, I ended up just doing mostly traditional graphic design work instead, and thankfully, still had jobs in theatre to pay the bills and keep the lights on. I envied all of my friends who managed to make clearer decisions in life. I had friends in every industry I dabbled in, and was always so impressed by their focus and indeed, their success. I wanted that sort of focus so badly. What a gift to actually know what you really want to be when you grow up. And today? I’d love to say this story has an ending, but it’s still being written in much the same fashion. There’s still not something I want to be when I grow up, other than to simply be happy being me. I’ve learned that when it comes to me, there’s no comparison to be made. I’m the only me there is, after all. I may not be the best at whatever I attempt, but I attempt it in the best way that I can. This isn’t so much a goal as a simple outlook on life. I figure as long as I show up as the best me I can be in the moment, I’ll always have that wonderful feeling that comes from finding a bit of pride.
About the Doodlewash
Da Vinci Paint Co.: Yellow Ochre, Aureolin, Vermilion, Leaf Green, Cobalt Turquoise, and Cobalt Blue. Lamy Al-Star Safari Fountain Pen with black ink in an A5 Hahnemühle Watercolour Book. Want to purchase a print of this doodlewash? Send me a note with a link to this post, and I’ll add it to my shop!