This is our little bundle of joy, Phineas, who I’ve mentioned on several occasions. I thought I should add him to my little Cabinet of Curiosities before the month ends. He’s a full breed Basenji who stubbornly refuses to doodlewash and follow in his family’s footsteps. His personality is so distinct, that we do what most dog owners do, we talk for him. More than just putting the words in his mouth, we’ve envisioned a full personality profile.
Since he was a rescue found growing up on the tough streets of Topeka, Kansas, we assume he must have a very small town view of the world. This, combined with his rather wrinkled brow that makes it seem like he’s always a bit irritated with something and judging you, led to us deciding he’s also an extremely ultra-conservative Republican.
This was an admittedly ludicrous profile given this poor dog’s current situation. Beyond the obvious fact that he actually has two fathers and no mother in the home, he also has to endure a house that doesn’t eat meat with every meal.
Add to this, the fact that one of his dads is an immigrant and things just get cruelly complicated for the little guy. We’ve tried to explain it to him, but upon hearing that Philippe is not from America, Phineas just assumes he must be Mexican.
To keep things simple, we’ve given up trying to explain to him why his Aunt Aesha, Uncle Jeromey and even the President of the country he loves so much aren’t white. And he really won’t listen if you try to point out that his own bloodline comes from Africa and so technically he’s also African-American. To be fair, Jeromey also claims to simply be American, since he says he’s never been to Africa either.
Due to the personality we’ve crafted for him, we avoid discussing all types of politics. And though he does seem unusually interested when hearing FOX News mentioned in a conversation, it’s also very likely because he thinks it’s a show about actual foxes. Come to think of it, a show like that would be far less intellectually insulting and would, at the very least, be factually reliable.
But despite our complete and total differences, we’ve managed to communicate with Phineas and form a true bond. That’s the great thing about dogs. They don’t have to agree with your life in order to love you. And you don’t have to be exactly like them to earn their respect.
So our little household functions just fine with me, the immigrant, and a super conservative Basenji. Though I’m sure it must put quite a strain on poor Phineas. Luckily, with his little dog brain, he’s able to pick and choose what he wants to believe, so it all works out. And he’s super excited for the upcoming holiday season. Even though he knows that little gun he asked for won’t be under the tree once again this year.