Deviled Egg Day by Charlie O'Shields

Plan Your Epitaph With Deviled Eggs Day

Today it’s time to celebrate Plan Your Epitaph Day which is “dedicated to the proposition that a forgettable gravestone is a fate worse than death.” As a bonus, it’s also National Deviled Eggs Day, and I wasn’t sure if everyone would have these yolky wonders prepared, so I doodlewashed one for you, to accompany your end of life planning.

Lance Hardie is the creator of Epitaph Day and lives by the motto, “Make it worth dying for.” He also writes them for you if you’re stumped as well as for your furry family members. By this I mean pets, not your cousin with the hipster beard. As for who invented National Deviled Eggs Day, nobody really seems to know, so I’m just going to go out on a limb and assume it was Food Network.

Everyone approaches death in different ways. For example, my best friend from art school made me promise that if she died first, I would stand at the back of her funeral service and look reverent. Just when everything in the room stops and hits that deathly quiet lull, I was supposed to loudly scream “See you, sucker!” and run out. Let’s just say, I’m hoping I die first.

As for me, although I love deviled eggs, I don’t love gravestones and think they’re too showy and take up space. Most of my family prefers cremation, and I’ll likely follow suit, as the box is much more compact regardless of your size while alive. When I arrived in Texas after my father had passed away a number of years ago, my mother simply proclaimed, “Your father’s over there on the bar.”

I walked back to the family room and there was an octagonal brown wooden box with inlaid green marble sitting on the interior Tiki bar my dad had built. It seemed odd that a 350 pound man would fit in there, but according to the photo on top it was indeed him inside. The photo my mom chose was of a younger version of my dad who was about the same age as I was at the time. But there was no epitaph to be found and so I thought I should write one.

I have many memories of my father but they feel like a collection of feelings rather than tangible events. He was there while I was growing up, but more at arms length and was often in his own world. I loved the man, but it’s hard to clearly remember someone you never fully understood.

I felt bad that nothing was springing to mind. I looked at the box again, quietly sitting there at the edge the bar underneath a string of glowing plastic jalapeño chile peppers, and suddenly I remembered. My dad had already written his epitaph. He was always telling me, “Son, when I die, throw a party and have a beer on me.” So I set down a glass, poured a beer and toasted him.

As for my epitaph, I don’t even know if I’d want to be in a box, so I’m not sure where anyone would put it. But assuming I did end up in a tiny box somewhere, with a picture of me ironically smiling on top, I guess I’d just want do what I always do. And say what everyone must be thinking. So in a lovely bit of shiny gold lettering just below the photo, when the light hits it just right, you might be able to make out these words: “Well, this is awkward.”

Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in By Charlie

56 thoughts on “Plan Your Epitaph With Deviled Eggs Day

  1. My grandma told my dad, “Life is for the living.” I always enjoy your stories. LOL about “See you, suckers” and “Well, this is awkward.” Mine might be, “If you’re reading this, you’re too close.” I dunno!

  2. Glad you added a deviled egg as it really “cracked” me up! 🐣 And it made your Doodlewash much more interesting! Hehe! Which is amazing BTW! 🌟🎨🌟 I think I’d like one of my strange imaginary birds instead of a photo of me on my box of cremations. It would be fun to make someone laugh while they are eating a deviled egg and trying to act serious. Just saying. 😄

  3. Don’t you just love it when Deviled Egg Day comes around? Wooo!!!!!! Great doodlewash Charlie! This really cra..oh Jill already did that.

    I like “this is awkward.” Very succinct indeed 😉 It’s a tricky subject and not something I’ve ever given much consideration, but as I’ve apparently been obsessed with words since forever, I feel the only fitting epitaph/headstone for me would be one written in Countdown Conundrum/anagram form. “Here lies NUTJOBS COAT”, that kind of thing. Ideally with a musical clock and buzzer attached somehow. Leave ’em scatching their heads! 😉

    1. Thanks Jacob!! 😃 ooooooo… And anagram is super clever!! Yes, you definitely need a musical timer and countdown!! I guess another simple epitaph would be “Times Up!” or a more inviting one like “Join Me?” I’d never really thought about it much before but it was apparently a good day for it! 😉👍🏻

      1. Ha, I like “Join Me?” a lot! How about “Don’t worry about me – it’s nice and warm down here!” or “Over my dead body will I have a decent epitaph!”

        There are too many to choose from. I might have to get several gravestones.

  4. I have always had a fascination for graveyard epitaphs, in the UK there are some real stunners you can search out. Spike Milligan (a famous British comedian who was one of the Goons) has ‘I told you I was feeling ill…’ on his tombstone.

    In my husband’s hometown of Aberdeen there is a very famous one that reads:

    Here lie the bones of Elizabeth Charlotte,
    Born a virgin, died a harlot.
    She was aye a virgin at seventeen
    A rare thing in Aberdeen

  5. You are killing me with your stories, Charlie (pun intended)…LOL!! From cousin with the hipster beard to “this is awkward”…is Philippe constantly laughing because you keep him amused? 😀 You know that your stories are over-shadowing your doodlewashes, don’t you?

    Hubby makes a great deviled egg. I think it’s because he ate so many variations on deviled eggs during all those years of family reunions he had to attend that he set out to make one that actually tastes good (and one that has no potential for harboring salmonella). 🙂

    1. Haha! Thanks Teresa! ❤️😃 Philippe is really funny! We keep either other amused all the time. Lol And that’s awesome that your husband took the time to make a good one. There are some truly wretched versions out there. There was a version in my extended family with a ton of pickle relish, which just makes everything taste like a hot dog. 😝

  6. Love the devil eggs! And the spoon is fabulous! I love eggs and I haven’t had deviled eggs in so long!

    I don’t know what I want when I go.. On one hand it would be nice to be close to family in an urn but I think I like the idea of returning all my physical chemicals back to earth.

  7. That was so much fun to read, Charlie!!! And your little painting looks fabulous, as always!!! I think I hate these kind of eggs, but it´s probably the nicest an egg can look like. Almost aristocratic. I like them better when they´re “sloppy”. 😉
    I have an old T-shirt which has some lettering on it you barely see, and it says: It´s time for a new you with music. As I think death is not the end, that´s maybe a nice one for a new beginning. 😊

  8. I am sad that I didn’t get this post until 3 Nov (the joy of time zones) – it arrived at 12.06, so I have missed plan your epitaph day for another year. Just wanted to say that I enjoy your stories even more than your paintings (and I enjoy your doodles alot). Keep ’em coming!

    1. Awww thanks!! Sometimes I think the stories aren’t great, but hope the doodlewash is good. Sometimes they both stink, but hey, that’s why I’m practicing! 😊lol Thanks so much for reading and looking. 💕😃 And apologies that I made you miss the day…I didn’t come up with this new challenge idea in time to be a day ahead so I can’t yet post these in the morning. 😊😊hehe

  9. Love your writing, it brought laughter and a few tears. Your deviled egg shines like a beacon, and inspires me to whip a few up…your pen caught my attention, (love pens), but your salt shaker is brilliant. Beautiful ‘glass-work’ and great shadows. Thank you for sharing…./hug

Leave Me A Comment!

%d bloggers like this: