Written by Hi everyone! My name is Tatiana Manukovskaya, I am from Russia. I was born in Saint-Petersburg, have grown, studied and worked there, and then moved and lived in Kiev, Moscow, Voronezh. Now I live with my family in a village, in the Voronezh region.
This phrase you see in the title is probably familiar to you – it is the name of a song, released in 1994 by the American band Sparks. You would ask, what was the reason for me to choose those words and I’ll try to explain this to you. I’ve heard this song on the radio when I was 14 and I loved it from the first sounds, even though I hardly understood what was the meaning of the lyrics.
But since I was a big music fan, I had forgotten about this song carelessly in a few months, I suppose. Years passed, and suddenly, last year, after 25 years (it’s hard to imagine!) I have recalled this song and the first sounds of it aroused in me the feelings I had when I was 14. And I understood that I am standing at the threshold of a new era in my life – again! Because my life has changed completely more than once, and often I envy people who are steadily moving toward a goal or developing themselves in one direction.
Who am I? What am I? I never could answer these questions. I seriously studied choreography, but hadn’t become a dancer; I wrote literary essays and won literary competitions and I hadn’t become a writer or a journalist.
I graduated from the Institute of tourism and worked for the organization of tourist exhibitions for 3 years. I visited many countries and had many connections and chances to develop my career, but I gave up everything and went to another college to study psychology.
And after that, for several years, I’ve been blogging and writing a lot of articles on psychological and philosophical topics, on topics that excite me the most. Sometimes I have consulted people, not as a psychologist, but as someone who can support others in finding their own Self, discovering true desires, and cultivating the courage to follow their heart. However, this activity has also come to its logical end.
And I found myself young again, empty enough and full enough to search for something in me, that was awaiting to awake. I feel myself ready for something new, and I have no idea what it can be!
This is what happens in my soul, my internal life, and on the outside, for many people around me, I am just a housewife, mother of three children and wife. However, recently I surprised many by showing them my drawings.
Ah, yes, finally I am ready to speak about the reason why I am here. To tell you the truth, I’m both proud and very embarrassed that Charlie invited me to be among you. Who am I? What am I? (You remember? See above.) Do I deserve to be called a guest artist, because I’m not an artist at all? These are the questions that can be quite painful. But I decided not to fight them. No, I decided to ignore them as much as possible. They are remnants of the old me. The new me wants to be free from evaluations and excessive self-criticism.
The new me wants to say: Dear Charlie O’Shields, I am very, very grateful to fate that I met you on Instagram, that you organized such a wonderful challenge that gives any person a chance to be a bold creator; that you never pressed, forced, or pushed, that it is really easy and free to draw with you every day (or every other day when someone is lazy like me).
And also many, many thanks for the wonderful community you have gathered, Charlie! My best art friends came from those who challenged themselves through Doodlewash!
That is all I wanted to say. Well, there’s also something I need to write about art supplies that I use. This story won’t be too long, because I’ve only drawn for 5 months and my experience isn’t so extensive. I started from the cheapest “no name” paper and studio watercolors (the intermediate between children’s and artist’s), but very soon I discovered a strong desire to have real, preferably 1-pigment watercolors that are cleaner and more suitable for mixing.
So I began to buy tubes of the “White Nights” brand from our best Russian manufacturer – Nevskaya Palitra (Neva Palette), and sooner added some from the brand Pinax, they are produced in Korea. Pinax also produces very good brushes – mixed and synthetic, and I have some of them for different purposes.
I also started to buy different watercolor paper: I have albums and sketchbooks of Russian brands Palazzo, Maleviches; sketchbooks from Royal Talens (Art Creation) and Seawhite of Brighton. Recently, I won a prize from an Australian company Micador and tried out their excellent 100% cotton paper and very nice watercolors that Koh-i-noor company produces.
So my journey is just beginning, and I think the main thing that inspires me and gives me joy is not the idea that drawing will become some serious activity for me, no. Drawing brought me the main happiness – the opportunity to go back to my roots, to my childhood, to find and understand myself and continue to explore my world every day. I don’t know a better way to date! Thank you all for your attention, I’m happy to join you!
Tatiana Manukovskaya
Instagram
” I found myself young again, empty enough and full enough to search for something in me, that was awaiting to awake. I feel myself ready for something new, and I have no idea what it can be!”
Such lyrical lines….So motivating…Sing peacefully and experience each moment and pauses on ‘ your way’ or should it be ‘ your ways’
🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you very much!🤗🤗🤗
Thanks so much Tatiana for sharing your story and your art. I agree with you that this is a fun place to be to challenge ourselves and grow as artists. Must important is to have fun DOing!
Thank you very much, Karen!😊
Being a housewife is a great opportunity to develop and use many different talents. It’s awesome. And so are your pictures! Keep drawing, painting, and singing!
Yes, I agree with you about the housewife’s opportunities😄 And thank you very much for your kind words ❤️
Tatiana, I’ve been enjoying your art on Instagram for a while now, and I’m so happy to learn more about you! Your artistic journey is an inspiring one!
Wow, Sandra, I so excited to hear this! Thank you so much💖
Very interesting, small text about how you developed, and as your son, I want you to please us more with your drawings!
(the translator was used in the moments😄)
Hahaha, I love you❤️
Gorgeous Colors Tatiana, and nice composition.
Thank you very much, Walt!😊
It was lovely to read about your art journey and to see your beautiful art!!! 🙂
Thank you very much, Lisa Ann!🤗
Don’t say you are not an artist ! You are! I see it already looking at your drawings. I read that you like litterature, dance, and drawing sure, it’s because you have a great artistic sense and a great sensibility. I am very happy to meet you in the doodlewash community. Go on to amaze us !
Dear Beatrice! From the very beginning you supported me, I so appreciate it! Thank you again and again, I am also very happy to meet you! ❤️❤️❤️
Love the diversity in your work and amazed at how quickly you have developed your artistic style. I will be following you on Instagram to continue to be inspired by your art.
Thank you very much, Claire! Especially for seeing “my style”!😄 You are very welcome to join me on Instagram!
You’ve begun a wonderful journey, Tatiana! I hope you will continue to share your beautiful artwork and your story with us on Doodlewash.
Thank you very much, Mary!
Thank you for sharing your arts. Love the ‘cats’ and the ‘pair of shoes’.👍
Thank you very much, Miishuangmu! These are my cats and the pair of shoes of my daughter, maybe I drew them better because of love:)
Your work is beautiful! You are indeed an artist! You were gifted with natural talents. I enjoyed your story. You reminded me that we are here to have fun while practicing our love of sketching/painting.
Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️
I loved reading about your journey! Your art is quite wonderful – keep painting.
Thank you very much, Sharon!
Your words echo my own journey Tatiana. I have visited your home town many years ago now and how beautiful it was the Hermitage if only I could have spent weeks there.
I follow Charlie because I really really hope to find my way back into painting, your art and your journey are yet another moment connection. Something is going on and I thank the Goddess for her directing me here and reading your words.
I found your words about Doodlewash so encouraging, and I really love yours. I love that you won some Micador products from my country. I love your journey with the paper. It is such an addictive thing paper. lol
I find myself drawn to Doodlewash more and more. thanks to Guest artists and of course Charlies work and writing.
But you’re still stunned at the things you will do (a line from the song you learnt at 14) and I do believe you are singing ‘My Way’ right now.
blessings Tazzie
Dear Tazzie, thank you so much for your wonderful comment. It brought tears to my eyes… This us so great, that you, living in Australia, have visited St. Petersburg, Hermitage! I haven’t got a chance to visit Australia and Tasmania (what a fairy name for me) yet. But who knows? Wanted to ask, how are you coping with fires in your country, but have opened your blog and saw, how many interesting and sincere things you publish there, and I am going to read them attentively!(reading in English takes more time for my brains😄). Thank you very much for all the kind words to me, I am glad that my public appearance made something good to others! Do you have Instagram?
Sending to you all my best wishes, Goddess bless you!
Спасибо благословений вам
❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for sharing your story. And your lovely art!!
Thank you, Shanyn!
Beautiful, I love your style and your journey!
Thank you very much, Sally!
Tatiana, I think you’ve found yourself! Your art is beautiful! Keep on exercising that brush!
Thank you very much for your support!
Hey Tatiana! I ve admired and liked your work on doodlewash on instagram. I loved your all your work under #doodlewashjanuary2020.i can relate very much to your story. My own is similar. I find solace in painting and i ve been following Charlie’s doodlewash since last 2 years.i try to paint the challenges on days I’m free.
Thank you very much, Purnima! I wish you luck on your way!
Fantastic work
Thank you, Susan!
Tatiana! Thank you for being so candid with your story! I can relate to it so much! Not only is your artwork stunning, but your writing is also so captivating and beautiful!!! And, although your journey has just begun, it’s already inspired me! You ARE an artist and brilliant one! Thank you for sharing your beauty and talents with the world!!!
Dear Jenny, I almost haven’t got words to express my gratitude, just “thank you, thank you again and so much!” ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️